


Miscommunication

by mad2thebone



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Smut, have fun with a few thousand words of mindless flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-04-28 20:23:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5104562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mad2thebone/pseuds/mad2thebone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla is at a bar, looking for someone to hook up. Laura is definitely not gonna be that someone, because casually sleeping with the person you're crushing on is never a good idea. Things evolve from there, but a little bit of communication could solve everything.</p><p>Or: Carmilla is whipped as fuck and Laura just doesn't see it. (what else is new?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was so much fun to write, I hope you enjoy it, too.
> 
> Also this ~ indicates a change of perspective, but I think that's obvious because they really only think about each other ;)

The bar is crowded when you arrive. It’s Friday evening and the Lustig is your usual place to go. You know the barkeepers and most of the frequent customers and sometimes you wish you didn’t, but it’s not like there’s an endless amount of possibilities in this town. You order a beer, steal a stool from some guy and sit at the bar to overlook the place.

Most of the people are students at the university nearby and the semester just started, so you hope there will be some new faces.

You’re halfway through your beer when Elsie appears. She’s standing way closer than necessary and you wouldn’t usually mind, but you haven’t decided on a target for the evening yet, so she could scare off whoever might spark your attention. She tells you about her lectures that week and her bitchy professor all while her hands travel from your knees up your thighs but you stop her midways.

You know she has a thing for you and she’s pretty, but it’s not that long since you slept with her and you can’t have her thinking this is something that could be happening on a regular basis. You had enough trouble with rejected hookups, you tend to make yourself very clear. And besides, she practically throws herself at you and where’s the fun in that?

You send her off to her friends with the half-promise you might look for her later and go back to scanning people.

It’s half past midnight and nothing exciting happened so far. You talked to a girl a while ago, who only left you her number before she left. Some frat guys hit on you, too, clearly not aware of the reputation Silas has, but you got rid of them by insulting them long enough.

You’re bored and almost tempted to find Elsie when a new group of girls enters. You don’t know any of them and they look like they got lost in a place like this, but that’s enough to make you want to stay a little longer. You always had a thing for experimenting college girls.

You lean towards the barkeeper to order another beer when someone bumps into your side. It makes you lose your footing but you land on both feet and turn around to glare at whoever dares to disturb you. You’ve expected some drunk guy, but instead there’s a small brunette and she flinches when she sees your facial expression.

“I’m sorry. Are you ok? Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to… I guess I’m a little tipsy, sorry.“

You take a closer look while she apologizes and you haven’t even seen her here before. She’s cute. Not your usual type, they show a little more cleavage normally and are a little more dressed up, but cute.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine, cupcake.”

“Are you sure? You looked like you were hurt.” She bites her lip and eyes you cautiously. And you don’t know what she expects. She ran into you, it’s not like you’d have bleeding wounds or something like that.

“I’m not.” You assure her. It’s time to take advantage of the opportunity. “If you want to know, I was ready to yell at someone for being disrespectful, but it turns out you are a pretty girl and not some idiot, so I decided against it.”

You wink at her and notice contentedly that she blushes hard. The barkeeper is looking your way and you quickly lean towards him.

“Another one of those-“ you raise your empty bottle and point towards the tiny stranger, “-and whatever she drinks.”

“I should be the one buying you a drink. It was my mistake.”

“Just go on and order, cutie.”

She looks at your beer, but you’re aware that she’s even more flustered. “I’ll have the same.”

You wait for the guy to get you the order, pay him and hand her one. “Cheers, creampuff.” You say, and clink your bottle against hers. She takes a sip and gazes at you curiously.

“Thanks.” She hesitates a moment. “What’s with all those nicknames?”

“Well, you haven’t told me your name yet, have you?” You tell her, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and smirk.

“You didn’t ask.”

You feign consternation. “My mistake. So what _is_ your name, cutie?”

She starts to laugh and you feel the corners of your mouth twitch as you refrain from joining in, it’s kind of infectious. The evening just took a pleasant turn.

“I’m Laura.” She tells you and you take her hand and keep your eyes locked to hers while you guide it up and let your lips ghost over her skin for a second before letting go.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Laura. I’m Carmilla.”

She blushes even more and it’s just too tempting to stop. You wonder how long you can keep this up, but she makes it really easy for you. She’s clearly not used to being flirted with and you have entirely too much fun by getting those kind of reactions out of her.

“Does that normally work for you, Carmilla?” she asks.

“Does what normally work for me?” you ask back and raise your eyebrow.

“Flirting blatantly with strangers at bars.” That’s a lot more forward than you expected her to be, even if she averts her eyes and stares at the ground directly after she said it.

“I don’t know. Sometimes. Depends on what you aim for.” You lean closer to her and lower your voice so you almost whisper in her ear “Why don’t _you_ tell me?”

Even over the noise of the crowded bar you hear her taking in a ragged breath. She looks up and glances at you and maybe she needs the time to gather her courage before she answers.

“Depends on what you aim for.”

You can’t help but laugh at that. You don’t usually have people challenging you, but it’s nice for a change. You’re about to tell her in detailed description what you might aim for, when someone calls her from behind.

“Laura. Ah, there you are-”

And of course, it’s fucking Danny Lawrence interrupting the most interesting conversation you had all evening. You can’t believe you didn’t see her until now, since she’s not exactly hard to miss, since she’s at least a foot taller than everybody else and has flaming red hair.

“- with Karnstein.” She looks at you with the usual expression of disgust and judgement she has reserved for you and you don’t mind, it’s not like you’d give a shit about what she thinks about you.

“Hey Danny.” Laura smiles at the ginger giant. Great, why must she know her of all people? “You two know each other?” she adds and looks questioning between Danny and you, and since she’s shooting daggers at you with her eyes you glare right back.

“Clifford.” You greet her and add “Yes, unfortunately.”

“I was just checking if you’re okay. We were wondering what takes you so long.” Danny ignores you completely.

“I was just talking.” Laura says, defensively. “I’ll be right over.”

The giant waits expectantly and you wait for her to leave, but she just stands there and watches you suspiciously.

“You can go ahead, it’ll be just a minute.” Laura says with emphasis and finally she walks away slowly but you can feel that she’s still watching you.

“Is she your girlfriend or something like that?” You ask once you’re alone again, or as alone as you can be surrounded by people. Because you really don’t need that. Again.

“What? No!” she exclaims, and you don’t know why you’re so relieved to hear that. “She’s just a friend. We met years ago at university, and I just moved back here, so it’s nice to already know someone. We’re here with LaF who I also know, since then and their girlfriend, Perry, who was my Floor Don back then. And I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, sorry. I think I should go back to my friends.”

She looks embarrassed and you chuckle, she’s kind of ridiculous, but also really cute and you can’t help but to be disappointed.

“Or you could finish your beer and stay for a while. You know, I’d be really bored if you left me here all by myself.” You smirk and deliberately brush your hand against the topside of hers and draw slow circles with your fingertips.

“I’m sure you’ll find something to do. Danny’s right. I’m here with them I should go back.” You withdraw your fingers and take a deep breath. “Okay. Uhm, bye.”

“I’ll be here for a while. If you change your mind, come and find me. I’d love to talk some more.” You tell her before she leaves and you wink at her.

She walks away, but she stares at you and she trips and nearly falls before she shakes her head and turns towards the table the ginger giant and two other redheads occupy.

“Fuck.”

~

“What were you and mistress of the snark talking about?” Danny asks you as soon as you sit down.

“Nothing. I just bumped into her and apologized.” You don’t know why, but you don’t really want to tell what happened after that. But then the nickname Danny uses reminds you. “What’s the deal between you two?”

“She… I just… She’s not a good person.” She finishes lamely. You’re sure there’s more to that story.

“She was pretty nice to me.” You say carefully, just to see how Danny might react.

“Did she hit on you?” Suddenly she’s furious. “Okay, listen Laura. Carmilla manipulates people. She’s really good at that. Whatever she told you, don’t believe her, she uses people. Women. And then throws them away.”

You furrow your brow. You’re not a child, you can look after yourself. And it’s not like you don’t know what Carmilla was up to, she wasn’t really subtle. And if you’re hitting on someone Friday night at a bar you’re barely looking for true love.

“I think I can decide that for myself.” You snap. “We’ve been over this years ago.”

Danny always was protective towards you and it got on your nerves so you told her more than once.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” She looks sincere.

“I think what Danny wants to say, is, that Carmilla has a certain reputation. One that even I have heard of.” Perry chimes in, and it’s weird because she is not the kind of person who cares about gossip or is usually around to even hear gossip.

“Exactly.” Danny looks relieved.

“We just talked like five minutes. Relax.” You say and you’re glad when they change the topic after that.

You’re having a great time. Being back at Silas is better than you expected. You missed your friends in the last two years. You left for an internship a few hundred miles away and stayed a while after that, but when the opportunity presented itself to work at the Silas Chronicle you gladly returned to your previous life.

Every once in a while you sneak glances towards the bar. Carmilla still sits there sipping beer, watching people, but as she said all by herself. Whatever your friends told you, she made you feel amazing. You can’t remember when you’ve last been that embarrassed, but at the same time the fact that someone as hot as her was hitting on you was, and still is, a huge ego boost.

Your eyes get stuck at her leather pants and the way they cling to her legs and her butt and when you finally look up she smirks at you and bites her bottom lip. As fast as you can, you turn towards your friends and try to catch up about whatever it is the’re talking about right now, while your face grows hot at the thought of you biting that lip.

You are not a one night stand kind of girl. You’re sure about that. But if you were, Carmilla would be an A+ choice. You can’t even remember if you ever met someone as ridiculously sexy as she is. The way she talked, acted and flirted with you just screamed confidence. Which would be awesome, because you’re awkward at best.

It’s nothing you should even think about. Especially not after you heard what your friends said about her. Now that you think about it, Danny hasn’t even told you everything. You’re sure there has to be some personal story for her to be that upset with someone. So maybe she knows more than she told you.

Almost two hours and a lot of not so subtle glances later, your friends are about to leave. Carmilla caught you staring at least three times, and each time you thought her smirk couldn’t get more dirty. You were wrong. And the fact that you’re even considering this is scaring you.

You’re debating if you should tell her goodbye and maybe slip her your number or something like that, so your friends don’t have to know what you’re up to when a blonde approaches Carmilla and practically leaps in her lap. She wraps her arms around her neck and either talks directly into her ear or licks her earlobe.

“Laura?”

You snap out of your distraction when LaFontaine calls your name. The way they look at you, you think it might not be the first time they tried that. “Are you coming?”

“Yeah, right, sorry” you mumble, grab your jacket and follow them. You sneak one last glance towards the bar, where the blonde is still in Carmilla’s lap. Carmilla holds her hands in her own and is talking to her. You practically run out of the door.

That’s exactly why you don’t have one night stands. Or think about them. You know it’s stupid. You don’t even know her. But right now you just want to go in there, shoo away the blonde and take her place. Which is even more stupid since you didn’t even know if you should tell Carmilla goodbye just a minute ago.

~

You’re earlier than usual the next Friday. Last week was an exception and you don’t plan on going home alone again. There’s always Elsie, but after realizing Laura had left without another word you didn’t want to stay any longer.

Whatever it was about her, but you were actually disappointed when she was gone. The way she kept staring at you the whole evening made you pretty sure you’d leave with her.

But none of that tonight.

You flirt with a dark haired girl for a while until you find out she is Elsie’s friend and before you can even blink the two of them put you between them, effectively trapping you. You let them for a few minutes, before you escape towards the bathroom.

There’s a small line and when you take your place, you’re delighted when you recognize the small figure and the light brown hair in front of you. That might be your second chance.

“Hey, cupcake.” You say and slide your hand along her shoulder in the smallest of touches. She jumps and turns around before replying.

“Oh, hi Carmilla.”

“Fancy seeing you here again. What do you think? Want to have that drink you denied me last week?”

“You did buy me a drink last time.”

“Yes, but then you ran away.” You frown and lean closer to her to whisper in her ear. “I’d love to spend some time with you.”

She’s the next in line and she practically runs towards the stall when the next door opens. You chuckle and take the next one.

You meet her again at the sink and she seems to have found her composure again.

“I have to deny.I’m here with my friend Kirsch, and we have some catching up to do.” She says and you have trouble not to show how much that’s bothering you.

“Kirsch?” you ask, because the name sounds familiar. “Isn’t that the frat guy who calls everyone with boobs _hottie_? You have a weird taste when it comes to friends, cutie.”

“You know him?”

“Barely. He just keeps confusing this place with somewhere he actually has a chance with women.”

“Yeah, that sounds like him.” She grins.

“Come on, he can do without you for a few minutes.” You rasp when you leave the bathroom and you spot the guy you’ve been talking about on the other end of the room, downing a glass of some bright blue liquid while several others cheer him on.

“Just a few minutes?”

“As long as you like, creampuff.” You answer in a low voice and the crimson that spreads on her cheeks is a solid indicator that she picked up on the ambiguity.

But then she takes a step back and exhales. "I should go back to Kirsch. I haven’t seen him in a while.”

Fuck, what did just happen?

“Do you have to?” And since when do you virtually beg? Or sound that pathetic? You have to get yourself together.

She nods.

“If you’re sure. Find me at the bar if you change your mind. I’ll be waiting for you.”

You wink at her and she mumbles “Yeah, see you later, Carmilla.” Then she turns and leaves.

Why does this distress you so much? She’s certainly not the first girl to ever say no to you. You should just find someone else. Even if you’re still pretty sure she’s attracted to you.

 

You walk towards the bar, order a beer and look around. Your gaze always drifts back to Laura and you contentedly notice that you find her staring at you a few times, just like last time. You spend most of the evening by yourself. No one else sparks your interest and she doesn’t come back.

It’s ridiculous, usually you would have hit on at least two different girls, but something keeps you waiting. You sip your beer and continue to glance at her.

A while later she gets up and you prepare to follow her and try to talk to her one last time. If she rejects you again, you’ll let it go. You’re not a creep and you certainly can accept a no if you have to.

Just then two arms sneak around your waist from behind.

“Didn’t you like my friend?” Of course Elsie has to choose that exact moment to appear again.

“Not particularly.”

“She’s gone and now I’m all by myself.”

You turn around and unwrap yourself from her grip. “Can you stop that?” you snap, a little harsher than intended.

“I thought you had fun.” She says defensively.

“Trust me, I did.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

 _The problem I that, you’re not her_ , you think, but you correct yourself quickly. _The problem is that you’re no conquest._ Definitely that one.

“You and me is not a recurring incident.”You answer instead.

“Relax, I’m not asking you to be my girlfriend.” She laughs even at the thought of that.

“Good thing we cleared that up.” You reply sarcastically.

“What's got your panties in a bunch?” You don’t see Laura anywhere. Maybe she’s outside.

“You foil my opportunities.”

“You’re totally weird. You’ve been by yourself all night. But whatever, see you.”

She walks away and you chug down the last sips of your beer and hurry to get outside. You look around and see no one around. You put on your jacket, find your pack of cigarettes in the pocket and light one. You wait while you smoke, but she seems to be gone.

You decide to go home, too.

~

You come back to the Lustig alone the following week. You tell yourself that you just listen to some music and drink a beer after a stressful day at work, but if you’re honest, which you avoid recently, you hope to see _her_ again. It’s stupid and it’ll make you feel awful, but you can’t make yourself stay at home.

You mentally prepare for another evening of seeing Carmilla with a bunch of different girls on the way there, but it still throws you off to see her standing in a corner at a table, laughing with a beautiful dark-skinned girl who has her arm around her waist.

Carmilla throws her head back in laughter and the two times you’ve seen her until now she never looked that genuinely happy. You feel a pang in your chest, but at the same time you want to see her like that more often. It makes her softer and even more breathtaking than usual.

Crap, you have to stop that.

She notices you and leans towards her company to say something before she makes her way over to where you’re standing near the bar. She flops onto an empty stool next to you.

“Hey there, cutie. Three times in a row, you have to really like this crappy bar. Or maybe someone _in_ this crappy bar.”

It’s infuriating how right she is, but you can’t let her know, especially since she just left her gorgeous _date_.

“You’re here every week, too. What’s your excuse?” you counter.

“Oh, I’m definitely here for the company. And I have to say it just improved a lot.”

Perhaps it’s about the way she says it. As always, it’s accompanied by an allusive gaze, and plus there’s the disappointment of seeing her with even another girl, but something inside you snaps.

“What is it with you hitting on me when you’re clearly with someone else?” you ask angrily.

To your surprise Carmilla’s smile doesn’t falter.

“Her?” she asks and points in the direction of the table she left only minutes ago. You nod and she gestures the girl to come over.

You gulp and watch her saunter towards you a lot more gracefully than you could ever be.

“Laura, meet my sister Mattie. Mattie, this is Laura.” You don’t know what to expect, but definitely not that. And you can’t tell what shocks you more, that revelation or that she called you by your given name. You actually thought she forgot it by now.

You realize your mouth is hanging open, so you quickly close it and try not to stare too much.

“Sister?” you finally ask.

“We grew up with the same foster mother.” Mattie clarifies and she looks curious from you to Carmilla. “Is that-“

“That’s all, Mattie.” She cuts her off and Mattie shows an amused smirk.

“Oh, come on.”

“No.”

“You’re no fun, I’ll go find someone else to play with.”

She leaves with a wink towards Carmilla, and you’re pretty sure she’s mocking her. You can definitely see the resemblance, even if it’s just in behavior.

The silence between the two of you is uncomfortable and you can stand it only seconds before you start talking again.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have… sorry.” You haven’t forgotten the last two evenings, but obviously you were wrong about tonight. And she doesn’t owe you anything.

“It’s okay. Hey, what did you mean earlier when you said ‘ _everytime_ I’m clearly with someone else’? You didn’t mean just Mattie, did you?”

That might be the first thing she ever said to you that’s not supposed to be suggestive. Carmilla looks even slightly insecure, but perhaps you are just imagining things.

“You seemed pretty close with that blonde.”

“Who? Elsie?”

“If that’s her name.”

“Trust me, I was not with Elsie. I’m not _with_ anyone for that matter.” Urgh, stupid butterflies. She could also just have said she’s not interested in relationships, so there’s really no reason for you to get your hopes up. “But I’d make an exception for you.” She adds and you turn towards the barkeeper to hide your smile.

Is that like committing to not make out with someone as long as you’re around? Oh, fuck it, you can make an exception, too. You order a beer as soon as the barkeeper notices you and sit on the empty stool next to Carmilla. You can handle talking to her. Maybe she’s actually terribly boring and a few minutes will cure you from that stupid crush you admit having since you first laid eyes on her.

“Okay, I’ll take the bait.” You say and she seems surprised. Good. “So tell me about you, what do you do?”

It’s hardly the most creative way to start a conversation, but she’s clearly taken aback and looks like no one ever asked her that question before. It takes a while before she finally answers. “I’m a philosophy student.” She pauses again and then adds. “And I work at my family’s company.”

“Student?” You ask and your eyes widen. “How old are you?”

Subtle. You could have asked that a bit sneakier. But what if she’s really young? What if she’s some kind of prodigy and is underage? Oh, god, you had like really explicit thoughts about her. You never thought about her age, but you can’t estimate it either.

Your internal panic must be visible, because she smirks and chuckles before she finally says “Relax, cupcake, I’m twenty-six.” which makes you take a deep breath of relief. “But I’d love to know what dirty little thoughts went through your mind that made you panic so much about my age.”

Of course with that the flirtatious tone is back and so is the suggestive winking, she does all the time, but it might be your own fault this time. Nonetheless, you can’t stop yourself from blushing hard.

 

Two and a half hours later, your wish has not remotely be granted. She’s intelligent and funny in a sarcastic kind of way. You had to drag most of the things from her lips at first, but after a while she seemed more comfortable. Boring is about the last word you’d ever use to describe her.

You can’t deny having a great time. That doesn’t help the slightest with your crush though.

You find out, that Mattie is staying with Carmilla for a few days while she visits. Immediately you offer to leave so she can spend some time with her sister, but she declines, claiming she has to _endure her for another two days_.

Apparently Mattie went to Silas University and knows enough people to keep her occupied, so you keep on talking and you keep on drinking and somehow you two get to sit closer and closer. The innuendos she kept to herself for most of the evening are getting more frequent again, too. She puts her arm around your back and her hand slides down your side to rest just a little bit too low on your waist.

Then she uses her new position to pull you even closer and you feel her nose and her lips nudge your neck several times before she reaches your ear, nibs lightly at your earlobe and rasps “We should find a place with a little more privacy, don’t you think?”

And you want to say yes. You really do. Because every touch feels just _so good_ and you want to just turn to her and kiss her senseless, but you think about Danny and what she told you and you think about Carmilla’s reputation and that even Perry has heard about that. And you think about the fact that you really like her and that you could barely deal with your jealousy when this was a little crush and you knew next to nothing about her, before you spent almost five hours talking about everything and anything. And that makes you come to your decision.

“I should go. It would make me feel awful.” The alcohol might have loosened your tongue.

“I’m pretty sure I know ways to make you feel good.”

Her mouth is still there, next to your ear and it makes you shiver. As long as you stay like this you’ll never stand your ground.

“Not what I meant.”

You shake your head and put a bit of distance between you and her. She immediately backs out and the insecure look on her face makes you want to kiss her even more.

You get up and take your jacket when she asks “Is it okay if I walk you out?”

She sounds like she’s afraid of you saying no and now you just want to wrap her in a hug and protect her, because she looks so vulnerable. But that wouldn’t be distancing which is what you intended only seconds ago, so you just nod and let her follow you out.

“Get home safe.” She says and she steps closer again, brushes her lips gently against your cheek and in the blink of an eye she’s back at a more respectable distance. “Good night, Laura.”

“Good-… Goodnight, Carm,” you reply and your voice is shaky.

What did just happen?

~

Everything hurts and there’s definitely too much light shining through your curtains. Last night is a blur. You remember talking to Laura, if you’re correct, it was for a long time. There’s a lot of that conversation in your memory, too. You liked listening to her. She’s really passionate about a lot of things and if she is, she defends them with everything she has. And you even shared some things about you. At that time you didn’t drink enough to wipe your memory clean, that’s for sure.

But why can’t you remember her leaving the bar? Or you leaving the bar, for that matter.

You’re pretty sure you went home alone. Not exactly alone, but with Mattie. And considering your current state that’s a good thing.

Mattie! You can ask her, even if you have to deal with her mocking.

A few minutes later you walk into your kitchen. You don’t want to be up, but curiosity dragged you out of bed.

“Ah, she rises from the dead.” Of course Mattie has to look like her usual flawless self and not a little bit hungover. And her voice is definitely too loud.

“Shh.” You hiss and scrunch up your face.

She just laughs at you, but she lowers her voice. “So I guess you’re feeling not that great.”

“What gave it away?” you grumble sarcastically. “What happened last night?”

She chuckles. “That bad, huh? Well, if you want to know what got you in this state-” she gestures towards you. “- then the answer is: shots. And by the way, your game is weak. But for the rest of the evening I really don’t know.”

“When did I do shots?” You ask, because you remember drinking beer the whole evening.

“After your little girlfriend left-“

“She’s not.” You automatically interrupt her.

“If you say so.” Mattie doesn’t believe you, but you don’t have the energy to argue with her. “Well, after she left you came back in, cursing and complaining, and kept muttering you messed something up, so we started to drink. Sadly, I didn’t get you to spill what happened. An embarrassing short amount of time later you were wasted and I brought you home.”

You vaguely remember telling Laura good night now. You might have kissed her. Shit, you should have just gone home afterwards, then you’d still know what went wrong.

Did you disrespect her boundaries? Were you super boring and she just got tired of you? Or did she tell you she’s just not into you? But in that case it’d suck, but you wouldn’t have messed anything up.

And you can’t even apologize for whatever you did, because you don’t have her number. Hoping that she’ll be at the Lustig next weekend is everything you can do.

Stupid alcohol.

 

You busy yourself with work and stuff for university during the week, but still you think far too much about that evening. The fact that this bothers you so much is still foreign to you. Sure, you like her, you admitted that when you stopped hitting on her constantly, because you enjoyed the conversation. But the distress it causes you, not to know if Laura is even going to talk to you again is kind of unreal.

All of these things are still on your mind when you clutch your drink the next Saturday. You try not to look up every time the door opens. You must have succeeded, because suddenly you hear a quiet “Hey.” from behind and when you turn around she glances at you nervously.

“Hey.” You reply and you can’t think of a reason why she should be nervous right now. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be here.”

“I wasn’t either.” She says and you take a sip out of your glass to distract you. She watches you curiously. “Coke? No beer today?”

“Yeah. Apparently Mattie and I did shots after you left last week, and let’s just say alcohol is not that appealing right now.” She grins and she still watches you with that look you can’t really interpret. But if now isn’t the right time, then when is? “Look, cutie, I don’t think I was that drunk around you, but I can’t really remember what happened when you left and if I overstepped some boundaries… Just… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything…”

You trail off and hope that’s enough. You’re so much smoother when you just try to pick up girls.

“You didn’t.” she answers slowly and you’re instantly relieved. “That’s kind of the problem.”

Before you can think about what she means, she’s in your space, grabs your face and kisses you.

~

Carmilla is stunned for a moment and maybe it’s you who overstepped boundaries now. You pull back and look at her surprised face.

“Sorry.” You whisper, about to get further away from her.

“Trust me, I’m not complaining.” And then her fingers pull on your belt loops and you almost crash into her.

This time she’s kissing you back.

You thought about doing this all week, you could barely concentrate on your work. Your thoughts drifted back to last weekend all the time and every time you regretted leaving a little bit more.

Sure, it’s stupid, and it’ll hurt eventually, but right now it’s so much better than you even imagined.

Her lips are slowly moving against yours and she shifts on the stool she’s sitting on and spreads her legs a little further so you can stand in between them. Your hands trail down from her face to her legs and slide up and down the outsides of her thighs and _damn_ , she’s wearing those leather pants again.

You feel her teeth nibble on your lower lip before she kisses you again and you part her lips with your tongue to let it meet hers.

The message you want her to get, is that this is happening on your terms. You’re not some conquest, even if this is a one time thing. You’re aware of what you do and you want her to know.

Her hand plays with the hem of your shirt and you feel her fingertips tickle your skin underneath. You should care about the fact that her hand could slip beneath your shirt any minute now in a public place, but the shivers those little touches send through you distract you, and you really don’t.

She is the only thing on your mind and you only notice that you are in fact surrounded by people when someone bumps into you and you two get out of sync. You stare at her face and the fact that she’s out of breath makes you at least a little bit proud.

“Watch it, asshole.” She snaps at someone behind you, and apparently she’s not too much out of breath to keep her from insulting the person who just disturbed you. You look over your shoulder and you vaguely remember him from that night you went here with Kirsch. He could be one of his friends.

“Get a room.” He says and grins and you feel the familiar heat in your cheeks from blushing.

You turn back to Carmilla and the two of you are still insanely close with her hands on your waist and your hands on her thighs. You’re almost afraid to look her in the eyes and when you do, you’re not surprised to see her smirk. What astonishes you, though, is that it seems somehow softer than usual.

She’s beautiful and she looks at you, like you’re the only one that matters. It has to be a talent. It might be one of the reasons for her reputation. But you don’t care if it’s real, it works for you, it makes you feel incredible. So you lean in and kiss her again, softer than before.

She kisses along your jaw and nips on your earlobe for a second.

“You know, he might be a beefcake with no manners, but I think he has a point.” She whispers in your ear and _god, that voice_. It reminds you of the very similar occurrence last week, and you had trouble resisting her then, even if you tried really hard, but now you have zero restraints.

However, you have not forgotten about your resolve. _This is on your terms_.

“Want to get out of here?” You ask and she hums low against your neck which you interpret as a yes. “Then let’s go to my place, we can walk.”

She nods and you take a step back so she can get on her feet. Once she is, she takes your face in her hands and kisses you so deeply, it makes you dizzy. You think you’d fall over if you couldn’t hold onto her.

“Now I’m ready to go.”

She lets go of you and winks, before turning around and walking towards the exit.

 

You’re barely through the door of your apartment, when Carmilla’s arms wrap around you from behind and you feel her cold fingers slip beneath the seam of your shirt and trace patterns on your bare stomach while she kisses your neck.

It took you a lot longer to get here than it usually would, just because the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other the whole way.

You close your eyes and savor the feeling until you notice that none of you closed the door. You use that to your advantage when you turn around and take her hands off you carefully. You keep her between you and the door. In one fell swoop you shut the door with her hands above her head, effectively pinning her against it.

She’s definitely surprised, but if the sharp intake of breath and the way she bites her lip afterwards are any indicators, she’s also more than a bit turned on.

You lean forward to bite that lip for her and while you tug gently on it with your teeth you simultaneously push your right leg between hers. You let go of her lip and her head falls back against the wood with a thump and she lets out a low moan.

A lot of her neck is exposed like this and you gladly start kissing down her throat to her pulse point and suck and bite the skin there, until you’re sure there will be a mark for her to remember you by.

You release her hands to shrug her jacket off her shoulders and when you get rid of your own she grabs your ass and the pressure of your leg against her crotch increases involuntarily. Slowly you grind your hips into her and lift her shirt above her head.

After caressing her soft skin for a moment you open the button of her pants, unzip them and push them down a few inches, just to make enough room for your hand. She shivers under your touch and you’re pretty sure she thoroughly enjoys what is happening, but still you ask “Is this okay?” before daring to go further.

“More than okay.” She pants. “You wouldn’t believe how many times I imagined this in the last weeks.”

The thought of Carmilla fantasizing about you turns you on even more, so you kiss her and push your hand down her underwear. The look on your face when you feel how soaked she is must be entirely too smug.

You find her clit and circle it a few times before going further down and entering her with one finger. You carefully stroke her before adding a second one all while she stares at you intensely. With steady pace you begin sliding in and out of her and she pulls you flush against her, her hands on your back under your shirt. You kiss her again and you feel her uneven breath on your lips.

You increase your pace and grind your palm against her clit with every push. Breathy moans leave her mouth now consistently and it makes you smile.

She’s close, and when you curl your fingers inside her while at the same time sliding your tongue against hers, she comes with a louder moan and you hear her mumble “Fuck, Laura.” against your lips when she sacks bonelessly against the door. You hold her upright and once her eyes focus on you again and she’s steady on her feet again, she grabs your face on both sides and captures your lips again.

She’s still slightly out of breath so you separate yourself from her and pull your hand out of her pants.

“So… Did that live up to your imagination?” You can’t stop yourself from asking. It’s not every day someone you’re hugely attracted to admits picturing sex with you.

“Definitely.” Carmilla says and grins. “Better even. But there’s always room for improvement.”

 _Damn_ , how can she deliver these lines with a cocky smile? You could never be that blunt.

What you can do, though, is to keep your eyes locked with hers while opening your pants. You push them slowly down your legs and after they’re gone you tug on her hand to make her follow you. On your way to your bedroom you get rid of your shirt and you hear her rustling with her clothes behind you.

It takes a moment to turn on the night light and when you get on your bed you watch her stepping out of her pants and panties and crawl up to you like some kind of feline.

She sits up, straddling your lap and opens her bra. It gets discarded somewhere and you let her do the same with yours. Her fingertips hook into the hem of your panties, but she waits for your very eager nod to drag them down.

She leans down to kiss you, and you can sense her naked skin all over you.

Her lips trail along your jaw, down your neck and along your collarbones before she starts using her hands, too. Carmilla is a lot gentler than you would have expected and she takes her time, avoiding all of the really sensitive spots.

She lifts your leg up her shoulder to kiss the back of your knee and the inside of your thigh and you’re sure you’re about to combust any time soon when she doesn’t go further but instead comes up to your face again.

She kisses you passionately before whispering “I wanted to have you come undone underneath me the first time I saw you.”

And then finally she’s touching you where you want her to. With her thumb, she’s applying pressure to your clit while sliding two fingers into you. She moves slowly and you close your eyes in pleasure only to feel her lips close around your nipple even more intensely and you moan loudly.

Her mouth moves further down soon and when the pressure of her thumb disappears, her lips take its place.She licks and sucks on your clit a few times and all you hear is the sound of your own panting and your erratic moans when you come.

You’re waiting to calm down, but the feeling doesn’t fade and you realize that she has not in fact slowed down, but picked up her pace and it takes only seconds until you cry out and come a second time.

Carmilla flops down on the mattress next to you and you kiss her, because you kind of never want to stop kissing her. You taste yourself on her tongue and if this is your one night with her, you’re going to use it to full capacity.

She looks at you, surprised when you get on top of her and caress the soft skin of her breasts.

“I think you’re one behind.” You say, and look at her questioningly.

She immediately starts grinning. “We can’t leave it at that, now, can we?”

~

You wake up when it’s still dark outside. You feel Laura breathing against your chest, your arms around her and one of hers around your waist. It’s warm and comfy. After a few moments of enjoying the feeling, she stirs in your arms and you finally realize what interrupted your sleep.Your phone is ringing wherever you left your pants last night.

Carefully you disentangle yourself from Laura and find your pants near her bedroom door. The time is the first thing you notice when you open the lock screen and you hiss.

5:32

It’s Mattie. You take the call to silence your phone, but you leave the room and close the door behind you before you answer.

“What the fuck do you want?” She might be the only one you’d answer the phone for at an ungodly hour like this, but that doesn’t change that she called you practically in the middle of the night.

“Well, good morning to you, too.” Urgh, she’s chipper.

“It’s still night, and I should be sleeping, so you better have a good reason to call.”

“Sorry, darling. I know you love your beauty sleep.” She laughs and you kind of hate her right now. If you were slightly more conscious, you’d insult her properly. “I need you to check something for me. There should be a large consignment from Silas sometime last evening. It still hasn’t arrived and I can’t find anything about its whereabouts. I have two departments sitting around and twiddle their thumbs. Can you find that for me?”

Despite the laid-back attitude she’s sporting you can hear that she’s stressed. You didn’t want to do her job, so you gladly let her take the position when your mother died. But you’d never turn her down, if you can make her life easier. And it has to be something big if they bothered the CEO of a multi million dollar company with delivery problems.

“If I have to.” You grumble. “I’m leaving as soon as I find my clothes.”

“Still not at home, aren’t you? I hope you enjoyed yourself.”

Your thoughts trail back to last night and you smile. “Yeah.” You whisper before you remember that Mattie can still hear you. You clear your throat and add “Sure did,” with as much arrogance as you can feign.

She laughs again. “Thanks, I owe you. I’ll text you the details.”

“Whatever.” You mutter and end the call.

You sneak back to the bedroom and pick your clothes from wherever they landed last night. Because you don’t want to turn on the light, it takes you a while to find your bra that somehow ended up behind her nightstand but you get it without waking Laura up. You watch her sleep for a moment and you really want to kiss her again.

 _Get yourself together_. You shake your head and leave the room.

When you put your phone back in your pocket the thought strikes you, that you don’t have her number. And you can’t just leave like that before dawn, god knows what she’ll think. You look around the apartment and find a piece of paper and a pen but you can’t think of anything to write. Finally, you decide to just leave your number and add “Text me when you’re up.”

You wasted enough time, you have to go. There’s plenty of time to think about how to explain this later.

 

It takes you two hours to retrace the consignment and another one to track it down almost half the way between Silas and the production facility. You call Mattie back to tell her what you found out and how long it might take for the trucks to reach their destination.

After that you write some angry notes for your subordinates in charge of that transfer, because this is not what you want to do on a Sunday morning. You’re on your way back home, determined to sleep for the rest of the day when your phone buzzes.

~

You wake up alone. Honestly, you expected that, but it still stings. Now you’re one on a list of many and certainly not the last. Your sheets still smell like Carmilla and with a low groan you decide to stay in bed a little longer.

When you finally get up to make a hot chocolate you notice your phone on the kitchen counter. You don’t know where you left it, but most definitely not there. You grab it to check for messages and notice the note beneath it. It’s a phone number and your heart does a little jump when you see who it’s from.

Still, you don’t know what to do with it. Should you text her now like she asked you to? What do you even write in this situation? And what is the purpose of leaving her number for you? Did she just leave it by courtesy? No, if she didn’t want you to use it, she wouldn’t have bothered to leave anything. Maybe it’s like a _I enjoyed sleeping with you, I’d like to do it again_? If you’d reply to that, it would be a confirmation that yes, you’d like that, too. Which is mostly true. Because holy fuck, last night was amazing. On the other side are the internal panic you have to deal with right now, just because of a stupid phone number, and the disappointment of waking up alone, things you can definitely do without.

15 minutes later you have come to no further conclusions and you decide that you just have to try and see. You type in Carmilla’s number and save it. After an internal debate you write

 **You:** Hey, good morning. This is Laura.

Short and easy. You suppress the urge to add something passive aggressive like _You left early,_ or perhaps _Afraid to let me see you in daylight?_ in a more hurtful version.

It barely takes a minute before she answers.

 **Carmilla:** Hi, cutie.

You still can’t decide if you like the nicknames or not. You see her typing for a while, the three dots appearing and disappearing multiple times until finally another message follows.

 **Carmilla:** I wanted to say sorry for not saying goodbye earlier. I had to take care of something for my sister at work and I didn’t                want to disturb your sleep.

Does she want to say she would have stayed? It could be just an excuse. How important could a student who works part time even be? But she said it was her family’s company, she could know her way around things just because of that.

 **You:** When did you leave?

 **Carmilla:** just before 6

 **You:** That’s cruel. Why are you already awake?

 **Carmilla:** I’m STILL awake. On my way home now.

 **You:** Seriously?

 **Carmilla:** I wish I was kidding.

You find yourself smiling at your phone. The image of her, grumbling and complaining before the dawn of day, is one you can vividly picture and it’s entirely too cute.

Crap. You called her beautiful, hot and sexy in your head, more than you can count, but never cute. Cute is new. And cute is not the way you should think about the person who probably sees you as a decent hook up.

 **You:** How long until you’re home?

 **Carmilla:** Almost there.

 **You:** I should let you go to sleep then.

 **Carmilla:** I definitely need it, I’m exhausted. I blame half of it on Mattie…

 **You:** Half?

 **Carmilla:** And the other half on you ;)

Of course she has to be equally bold via text as she is in person. Nonetheless, your face grows hot and you’re sure you’re blushing hard. Good thing she can’t see you, so you can act nonchalantly.

 **You:** Go to sleep, Carmilla.

               **Carmilla:** Just fell down on my bed.

 **You:** Sleep well, see you.

 **Carmilla:** Wait

There’s barely a second between your text and hers and you wonder what she thinks is so important she has to tell you at this exact moment. Once again, it takes a few minutes in which the three dots appear over and over.

 **Carmilla:** Do you maybe want to grab something to eat later? You know, since we were denied breakfast this morning.

You imagine she’s saying those words in that unfairly sexy tone she has when she lowers her voice and with a wink and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense to you. Her idea of breakfast in bed has probably little to do with food and now you think about her, naked in your bed, neither does yours.

Obviously you shouldn’t agree to this. Texting Carmilla is already getting your hopes up again and eventually she will break your heart because you’re already far too invested. Rationally, you know that. But then you think about the way she smiles at you and maybe you can just enjoy it while it lasts.

 **You:** Sure, text me later.

~

It’s almost evening when you wake up again. You feel your stomach grumble and a smile spreads on your face. You’re meeting Laura for dinner.

Immediately you grab your phone and text her that you’re up. You suggest a little Italian restaurant you know, because you’re craving lasagna and ask her to meet you there in an hour so you’ll have time to take a shower.

She’s already there when you get there and you greet her with “hey, cupcake,” and a chaste kiss on her cheek, before joining her on her table. You look at each other and suddenly you’re really nervous. You have no idea what to say and it looks like she doesn’t either.

It’s awkward for a moment until she blurts out “What was the big emergency?” You’re confused for a moment and she clarifies “This morning.”

“Some deliveries went missing between here and the central production. That brought work to a standstill in two departments, so Mattie asked me to find it for her to get things running again as soon as possible.”

She looks at you confused. “Wouldn’t it have been easier to ask someone in charge? I mean, if you work part time you can’t have access to everything…”

Ah, right. You never told her what you’re actually doing. No one knows what you’re working, at least no one who doesn’t work for you or Mattie.

“Yeah, about that…” You hope she isn’t too mad about it. “I might have deviated from the truth a little bit. I don’t work part time, I go to some philosophy classes in my free time because I can’t stand talking about business and economy the whole day.”

“Why didn’t you say that?” She looks more curious than angry and you’re relieved.

“I don’t tell that to anybody, usually. Half of the people at the Lustig are students and I don’t want people to treat me differently.”

You don’t like the way everybody is cautious around you at work, just because you are the boss and you certainly don’t need all the idiots at your favorite bar to know that you have money or to have them ask you for jobs.

“Wait, why would they treat you differently?” She stares at you before it clicks. “What is the name of your family’s company?”

That’s another thing you normally keep to yourself.

“Morgan Industries.”

Her mouth opens and she’s gaping at you. “And you’re…”

“ I am the one in charge around here. Head of the Silas branch.”

She’s still completely shocked. You don’t think you’ve seen her speechless before.

“It’s not like I had to work my way up.” You try to play it down. That is exactly the reason why you don’t talk about your job. People get uncomfortable.

“Sorry, it’s just that you’re so young. And Morgan Industries is huge.”

“Inheritance perks.” You reply and something seems to click.

She’s about to say something, when a waiter comes to take your orders. Once he’s gone again, she bites her lip and makes a few attempts to speak before she finally says “I remember that plane crash a few years ago. You don’t have to talk about it.”

“It’s fine.” You say and it really is. But you don’t want to bore her. “I tell you, if you want to know.”

She nods and you feel safe the way she looks at you. Like you can trust her.

“Lilita Morgan was my adoptive mother. Mattie and I joke that she only took us in to have someone run the company for her. She wasn’t the warmest person and we didn’t have the best relationship, but she took us in, the two of us and Will, my brother. We all got business degrees because that’s what she expected us to do and then we started working for her. Will was with her, when the company’s jet crashed. Mattie’s the oldest of us, she had the most experience and she took over the company as CEO afterwards, but to be honest, I never wanted to do it. So I took her old job, to help her out. I’m totally content with the Silas branch, and I don’t think I want any more responsibilities than that.”

Laura listens to you while you talk and she’s quiet for a moment before a mischievous glint appears on her face. “So… You’re super crazy rich and powerful, and you tell no one?”

“I guess you can put it like that.” You chuckle. “Don’t worry, dinner’s on me.”

“You don’t have to.” She immediately chimes in, and you’re pretty sure she means it but that convinces you even more.

“I want to.”

 

There’s no change at all in her attitude towards you. Not that you expected much, but you expected _something_. Usually people desperately try to impress you when they know who you are, but Laura is just as dorky and cute as before.

You continue talking while you eat and all the way to your apartment and it’s just as easy as it was at the bar.

You’re getting nervous again when you approach your building, but you remember last night and you shouldn’t be on the edge about kissing her after that. You take a step towards her and put a strand of hair behind her ear before leaning in and she immediately closes the distance.

You’re back in your element when your lips touch and you put your one of your hands on the small of her back and caress her cheek with the other. Slowly you pull back only a few inches and make eye contact. She stares back with the same intensity and you lean in again to carefully kiss her a few times with your lips parted until she follows suit and your tongues meet.

“Want to come up?” You ask a few minutes later, slightly out of breath. That seems to happen anytime you kiss her.

She nods and you lead her up to your apartment. It’s totally different than the night before. The rush is gone and you think Laura is more at ease this time. Not that you minded being thrown against the door, not a little bit. You didn’t even know you were into being the one who’s immobilized, because holy shit you are. But this time she’s nothing but gentle from the beginning and you both take your time and at least for now you prefer that.

~

The next morning you open your eyes because Carmilla is rustling through some drawers. You sit up and watch her for a moment.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” She says when she notices you and you can’t help but think that you’re alone in bed _again_. Even if it’s hers this time.

You frown. “Don’t worry, I should probably get up and get some work done today.” It’s both an excuse and the truth. You really don’t want to endure the humiliation of getting kicked out, but you actually have to finish your article until tomorrow. “Can I use your shower?”

“Sure.” She replies. “I was about to go in, but you can go first. Do you want a coffee or something?”

You’re momentarily stunned about the offer. It’s probably just a polite thing to do, right? But you remember that it’s Monday and that she’s the super important boss of Morgan Industries and you assume she got up for a reason. “No, you go. You probably have to be at work soon.”

She starts walking towards the bathroom, but stops at the door and turns around. You see the corners of her mouth twitch. “You could always join me.”

Is her voice even raspier in the morning? You get up without another word and follow her and she gives you that ridiculously gorgeous smile that makes you melt inside.

 _You’re totally screwed_ , you think a few minutes later when your back is against the shower wall with Carmilla kissing your neck while her fingers work their magic, but you really don’t care as long as it feels like this.

 

Later she texts you “You made me late for work, cutie.” with a winking smiley and it makes you grin for most of the day.

 

You don’t hear from her on Tuesday, but she asks you to come over Wednesday evening and you hate yourself for how fast you drop all of your work to head over. She brought takeout and you talk about how stressful your days at work were over dinner and just lay on the couch for a while before you start making out.

Before you fall asleep, she tells you she’s probably gone when you wake up, since she has a conference with overseas early in the morning, but you should sleep in.

True to her words you’re alone in the morning, but you take her up on the offer to stay as long as you like and make yourself at home for breakfast.

 

You ask her, if she’s coming to the Lustig on Friday and you’re disappointed when she tells you it’s either working long into the evening or come to the office during the weekend and she reluctantly chose the former. You’re busy scolding yourself for your reaction when she adds that she could make up for it the next evening. The reaction you have to that is worth scolding for the rest of the day.

 

Saturday afternoon you get a text asking if you want to watch a movie instead of meeting at the Lustig and you gladly agree. There’s always the possibility of running accidentally into Danny or someone else you know, and you don’t really want to tell anyone about that thing you and Carmilla have. Mostly because your friends can read you like an open book and you don’t want to admit to anyone, that you want so much more.

Besides, you can do without seeing Carmilla around _Elsie_ , or anyone else she has probably slept with. She did only pay attention to you last time, but you’re not keen to find out if that’s still the case, now that she doesn’t have to try to seduce you any more.

You actually watch a movie for about half an hour before you’re too distracted by her lips and her surprisingly innocent touches.

 

The warmth you’re surrounded by wakes you up on Sunday morning. It takes a while to notice that you’re in fact still in bed with Carmilla. Not only next to her, but really close together with her head in the crook of your neck and her arm around your waist.

It’s simultaneously the best and the worst feeling ever.

She mumbles something in her sleep and pulls you closer and you can’t decide if you should listen to the part of your heart that swells at how cute Carmilla looks while she’s asleep or the part that aches because your mind keeps reminding you, that this is not going to last and you shouldn’t get used to it.

You ignore the nagging voice for another hour and try to enjoy the proximity until Carmilla opens her eyes. You expected her to distance herself as soon as she’s conscious, but she stays right there and even kisses you good morning.

She asks “Breakfast?” when your stomach grumbles, and only gets up when you agree, totally blindsided.

The same thing happens to you a while later at the question “Do you have somewhere to be later?”and you don’t think fast enough to come to the conclusion that she might want you to go, before you shake your head and she says “I thought I could cook something.”

You end up on the couch again and this time you finish the movie. Her head lays in your lap most of the time and you refrain from playing with her hair. Later she makes some rad pasta and the whole day is entirely too domestic and all your concerns are blown away until you ask her, where she learned to cook.

“Despite my mother being this very important business woman with tons of money who was almost never at home, she didn’t like staff around the house. We had a cleaning woman once a week and a babysitter when the three of us were small, but as soon as Mattie was old enough to look after us, we were by ourselves. So we went to school all day, and if mother wasn’t at home in the evening, I had to cook unless I wanted pizza every other day. Mattie is so perfect at almost everything, but I swear, she can burn a pot of water, and Will was even worse.”

She smiles while telling you about her siblings and it makes you smile, too. You imagine a young Carmilla rolling her eyes at the two of them trying to cook.

“And then I was at university and after trying to eat in the cafeteria once, I decided that I would be safer on my own. I’m good on my own. I’m just used to be alone ever since I moved out, so I do all the basic tasks myself.”

There it is, the reminder you needed.

 _I’m good on my own._ She says it really neutral, not a hint of regret in it that may tell you, she likes to change that. Because whatever this day made you believe, you’re still nothing more than two people casually hooking up, even if you stay around a little longer.

You want to run, immediately, but you finish your meal before you tell her, that you have to go home tonight, because you need to change your clothes before you interview someone in the morning for your next article.

She frowns at that, but she accepts it when you get up and put on your jacket. She pulls you in for a kiss and you kiss her back with all you have. She parts your lips and feel her hands caressing your cheek and slide down your back where they traces patterns until they settle on your waist. And you clutch onto her, because you don’t want to let her go. You stay there, kissing for a few minutes until you have to separate yourself to breathe properly and you remember that you wanted to go.

At least you got a decent goodbye.

 

You call LaFontaine the next day after an almost sleepless night and a day of being distracted, and ask them to come over. They’re curious when you ask them to come alone, but they agree without an explanation when you almost whine “Please?”

You sit down on your couch and they watch you excitedly.

“So, what’s with all the secrecy?”

“You have to promise that you won’t tell Perry or Danny, especially not Danny.” You wait for their reaction. You vividly remember them both warning you about Carmilla and you don’t want to deal with them, judging you for being one of _those girls_.

They seem to notice that you’re serious because they don’t question you. “I promise.”

“Okay, so maybe I have done something stupid.” You start and you don’t know how to explain the whole situation without sounding totally insane.

“Define stupid. Like _stared into burning magnesium_ stupid, or _accidentally lit a tank of oxyhydrogen_ stupid?”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“You’ll probably survive the former.” They explain and you shake your head, because you can’t get sidetracked now.

“I might have slept with Carmilla.” You blurt out and glance at LaF, but they seem unfazed.”…more than once.”

“And now you’re in love with her.”

“What? No.” You exclaim, before adding quietly “I wouldn’t say in love, but…”

“I need a little more details here, to fully understand the situation.”

“Remember that night at the Lustig?” They nod and you look at the pillow next to you and keep your eyes there. “She hit on me and she just kept doing that, and I was like: _I can’t sleep with her, I can’t separate sex and feelings._ But then we actually talked and I really liked her, so I ran and then I regretted running away for a week, until I thought _fuck it_ , and went for it.”

You pause and look up. LaF smirks at you. “You know, if you weren’t such a mess because of that I would totally high five you.”

You chuckle and you feel a bit more at ease now, so you continue. “I thought it was a one time thing, which would have been bad enough, but she left me her number and we just kept meeting. And the more I get to know her, the more I like her. I mean, I knew she was hot, but now I know she’s also super smart, and easy to talk to and I know it’s not real, but then she smiles at me, or cooks and I get my hopes up, just to realize that I’m an idiot, when she’s gone.”

You finish your rant and bury your face in your hands.

“I guess, you haven’t told her?” They assume and you look at them.

“Have I told the queen of casual sex that I might have feelings for her? Yeah, totally!” You reply and your voice sounds shrill and a lot louder than you intended.

“But are you sure she doesn’t feel the same? You know, people usually don’t spend much time with people they don’t like. For sex? Okay, but not for talking, or cooking.”

“Maybe she likes me, but she keeps dropping hints that she’s not interested in relationships. And I mean, did you think she was the type for that?”

There’s a shadow on LaFontaines face and they look a bit uncomfortable when they answer. “Actually, Perry and I had a fight about that.”

“What?” None of them mentioned that to you until now.

“After we left the bar, I didn’t like the way she and Danny talked about Carmilla. You know I don’t like being judged based on rumors and I told her she shouldn’t do that.” They explain and you get it, they had to battle a lot of judgement about their gender identity when they were growing up. “I don’t know anything about her, but even if Carmilla decides to fuck every woman around Silas, it still would be none of my business. As long as she doesn’t mislead anyone about her intentions, there’s no reason to blame her.”

“I know.” You whine. “And I don’t blame her. I blame me, for not staying away. And I resolved to do that when I left yesterday, but I don’t know if I can if I see her again. I can’t just keep sleeping with her every once in a while.”

They think for a moment.

“I still think you should tell her. If she’s at least a decent human being, and I don’t think you’d like her so much if she wasn’t, she’ll leave you alone when you tell her she hurts you.”

They’re right, you know they are. You should just get it over with and start getting over Carmilla, but even thinking about admitting your feelings and getting your heart crushed makes you want to throw up.

~

_Busy with work, sorry._

_I spontaneously visit my dad this weekend, can we reschedule?_

_I have an early meeting tomorrow morning, I can’t._

_My friend LaF needs me for something. I don’t know what, but it sounded important._

Four attempts to get Laura to meet you and four excuses later you’re pacing up and down your living room. You told her multiple times to call you, when she’s free, but she didn’t and every time you tried to randomly text her, she answered in three words or less and after almost two weeks you begin to believe that you’re being dumped. And you have no idea why.

You were under the impression that you two had fun. You talked for hours, teased each other and had just overall a good time. But maybe that was just you. Not to mention the sex was great, you’re pretty sure for the both of you.

You never really believed it, when people talked about how sleeping with someone was so much better if there are feelings involved, but Laura might have changed your mind about that. She does that a lot.

It’s just that you can’t wrap your mind around what happened. Perhaps you’ve been around too much. You’ve seen her six out of nine days, maybe that was overwhelming, but two weeks should be enough distance, right?

There was no fight, not even an argument before she left that last time and you really want to know why she’s avoiding you.

 _Fuck it_ , you think and pick up your phone and press call.

“Carmilla, what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Hi, Mattie.” You want to buy some time before you have to inevitably have to tell her why you’re calling. ”Can’t I call my sister just to ask how she is?”

“I would believe you. If you’ve ever done that before. So, what’s wrong?”

You cringe and you’re glad she can’t see you. She’s been like that since you were kids, you could never fool her.

“Okay. Remember when you called Laura my girlfriend?”

“Something tells me, you don’t want to report that she is now.” Why does she have to be so right?

“Not exactly.” You hesitate before finally saying out loud what you’ve been thinking for a while now. “But maybe I want her to be.”

“Aw, that’s cute. You’re actually admitting to have feelings beneath that broody façade.” She chuckles, and if she was here, you’d punch her.

“Can you make fun of me another time?”

“If you want results you should tell her, not me, obviously.” Yeah, like you haven’t thought about that.

“I know. That’s kind of my problem. She’s not talking to me.”

“What did you do?” Mattie asks, like it’s the most natural thing in the world that you screwed up.

“Why do you assume I did something?”

“Because you usually do.” You want to be offended and you’re about to yell at her for being unhelpful and hang up on her when she continues. “Come on, we both know that you don’t like people. You tend to be honest and a little bit rude and sometimes offensive. That’s part of your charm. But not everyone can handle that.”

“Okay, I give you that.” You admit. “But she’s different. I don’t think I’ve been _rude or offensive_. Well, maybe towards her friend, but that was before we actually talked. I have just no idea what happened, one day everything was fine, the next day my calls go to voice mail and she keeps blowing me off via text.”

God, you sound pathetic. And you seem to have picked up Laura’s rambling.

“Have you asked her?”

“No.” You say quietly. Even the thought terrifies you, what if she tells you she doesn’t like you and doesn’t want to see you again?

“Then do, if you like her. And if she doesn’t give you an honest answer, she’s not worth it.”

“I hate it when you’re right.” You grumble and she laughs.

“I know.”

 

Two hours later you walk around Silas without destination. You stared at your phone for a long time after you finished your talk with Mattie and you know she’s right. You should just ask Laura, but every time you tried putting it in words you failed. You started several times, from a simple _what’s wrong?,_ which is far too unspecific, to a ramble of the size of twice your screen about how she keeps ignoring you, which is far too specific. You ended up deleting them all.

You needed to clear your head, so you left your apartment. You still made no progress though. You don’t know how to ask, you can’t stand it not to know where you stand and you’re still very much afraid of getting an answer you won’t like.

It’s getting dark and you’re cold. You look around to see where you are and how you get home when you realize that it’s almost the same distance to Laura’s apartment than it is to yours. You make the decision in a heartbeat and start walking.

It’s still a long way and you almost turn around several times before you reach her house. The room behind one of her windows is lighted, you think it’s the kitchen, so she has to be home, right? You debate on just ringing the bell, but you don’t want to ambush her, so you text her.

_Hey, are you home? I’m outside, can we talk?_

You get no instant reply and start walking up and down the street. You count the minutes that pass. Maybe she didn’t charge her phone, or she didn’t hear it. You debate on calling or just ringing the bell after all when your phone buzzes. It’s just a single word.

                _Okay._

Suddenly you’re even more nervous than before. So there is something you have to talk about, she’s not even surprised at your request. You walk back to the door and wait for her to buzz you in and the stairs to her apartment feel endless at first, but you want them to go on when you reach the right floor, because you’re not ready to do this at all.

“Hey.” You greet Laura when you step in and this is awkward.

“Hey.” She replies, and she doesn’t move or invites you in after you close the door and you wonder if she wants you to leave again soon. That’s not at all promising and you just stand there, not sure how to react.

“What do you want, Carmilla?” she asks, and wow, that hurts. Especially since you don’t know what you’ve done to be treated like that.

“I just… I haven’t heard from you in a while and I wanted to see if you’re okay.” You cringe. This is a really bad excuse. Why can’t you just say what you want to say?

“I’m fine. Is that all?”

You hesitate for a moment. She clearly doesn’t want you here and you think about just leaving, but you need to know what happened.

“No.” You say with as much conviction you can muster. “Why are you like this? Why do you keep blowing me off? Did I do something?”

You take a deep breath, because that’s what you came here to do and what you wanted to ask for days, and it’s finally out. Now you have to live with the answer you get.

“You didn’t do anything.” She says and that confuses you even more. You open your mouth to say so, but no words come out. Instead she starts talking again with rapid speed. “You didn’t do anything and that’s the problem, because I can’t even blame you. It’s not like I didn’t knew what I was getting into right from the start, but I can’t keep on doing this, I can’t handle knowing that I’m one of many, that this can be over the second you get bored.” Her eyes start to water and her voice quivers, but she continues. “And every time I’m with you I get my hopes up, just to realize that I can’t have you the way I want to. You might be cool with no strings attached, but I’m certainly not, and I can’t just keep sleeping with you only to feel awful when I’m alone again. And I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner, instead of just ignoring you…”

She’s full on crying now and you suddenly come clear from the rigor you lapsed into when she started talking. There are so many things you want to say and you just want to wrap your arms around her to make her stop crying, but you don’t think she would appreciate that now.

“That’s what you think this is? A no strings attached kind of hook up?” You can’t help but sound hurt, but at the same time you hate yourself for causing her any kind of pain.

“Isn’t it?” She sniffles and it breaks your heart.

“No.” You say quietly and she stares at you. “Do you know how long it’s been since I sat down with anyone other than Mattie just to eat or talk? And how long it’s been since I told anyone anything personal? God, I know I’m not good with the feelings-thing, but obviously I’m even worse than I thought.”

You say that last part more to yourself than to her and she still stares at you, as if she doesn’t believe you. “So those evenings were like _dates_?”

“If you want them to be.”

It’s the first time her eyes light up a little and there’s a hint of a smile on her face, so you wonder if the distance between the two of you is necessary any more. You take a hesitant step towards her and then another and she slumps into your embrace when you reach her and you hold her close.

“You know, when you said you wanted to spend time with me, I thought…”She mumbles against your jacket and trails off. ”Never mind.”

“You thought what?”

“I thought it was just a euphemism for sex.” She says and you don’t have to see her face to know she’s probably blushing.

“It was… mostly.” You counter and laugh and you feel the tension leave your body when you hear her chuckle.

“Idiot.” She hits your shoulder while still clinging to you.

You pull back a little, but keep your arm around her and you softly tap her chin to make her look at you. Her cheeks are stained with tears and you wipe them away with your thumb.

“Cupcake, you are ridiculous and headstrong and naïve, if you thought I wasn’t totally into you, but I kind of like you around. You’re not the worst company.” You grin at her and she shakes her head and laughs.

“You’re really terrible at this.”

“I know.”

“But you can make it up to me.”

“Okay.” You agree and finally lean in to kiss her. Her lips are chapped and taste like tears, but it’s still one of the best kisses you’ve ever had. Because she likes you and all your fears were unfounded.

“If those evenings were dates…” she starts when you separate again. “Are we dating? I mean, are we together?”

“Do you want a piece of paper that says _will you be my girlfriend_? With boxes to select _Yes, No_ and _Maybe_?” you ask and bite your lip to stop you from laughing.

Laura snorts and shakes her head again.

“Just so you know: I’d select yes.”

“Good.” You say and she kisses you again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, here's a bit more of that story, just them being cute, a stupid argument and some more smut, because why not? 
> 
> Thank you so much for all your nice comments, they made me really happy and I hope you enjoy that second part, too.

You lay on your couch, almost on top of Carmilla with your head on her chest. You watch the news, which is her choice, before she’s going to let you choose whatever you want on Netflix. She always complains about whatever you pick in the beginning, but that usually stops after a few minutes and she always tells you to choose again next time. You suspect it’s because she just stops watching and looks at you most of the time.

Sometimes you think you should find it creepy, but it’s mostly cute and it’s not like you don’t stare at her, too.

“LaFontaine asked me if I wanted to meet them and Perry at the Lustig next Friday.” You say as casually as possible when the news finish. You don’t want her to notice that you’re a bit nervous.

“I guess I have to find something to occupy my time then. Have fun, cupcake.” She never takes her eyes off the TV and that’s not what you wanted to say.

“Actually, I was thinking… How do you feel about meeting them?”

“You want me to meet your friends?” She glances down at you and she looks surprised.

“Yes. If you’re up to it, of course.” You know she doesn’t like a lot of people and if you learned anything about her in the last weeks, it’s that she prefers to stay at home, just the two of you and no one else. And you really wanted to introduce her to your friends ever since you got together, but you didn’t want to scare her.

“I don’t know.”

She doesn’t sound as indignant as you imagined so you try again.

“I want them to get to know you.”

“Only the ginger twins?”

It makes you grin. She started to call them ginger twins when you told her a story about something that happened when you all were at university and you showed her a picture of them to see if she knows them. She said she remembered them being with you at the bar, being _grossly domestic_ , and you instantly knew what she was talking about. You told her, they were rarely seen without each other and the name _conjoined ginger twins_ was born and shortened soon after.

You have learned the difference between the nicknames she uses by now and you noticed, that it’s mostly in the way she says them but also how crass the insults she uses are. So you’re pretty sure it’s a term of endearment, even though Carmilla doesn’t know them yet.

“Yes. Just four people and a few drinks.” You confirm and you’re glad you made sure Danny has some other plans for that evening, because you really need to talk to her in private before you present her Carmilla as your girlfriend.

“Okay, fine.” She says reluctantly and you push yourself up to quickly kiss her. You want to tell her you love her, for almost a week now, but that might be too much, too fast.

“Thank you.”

“As if I could deny you anything.” She chuckles.

“I think you slowly get a grip on that whole _feelings-thing._ ”

“Only for you.”

 

It turns out that Carmilla and LaFontaine get along great as far as you can tell. After a short period of caution right when you introduce them, they start mocking each other, LaF is throwing puns and Carmilla retorts with sarcasm.

Perry seems a lot more restrained and she interrogates Carmilla about her life, apparently not sure if she should trust her. She starts wiping the table mid-sentence and you can practically see the _what the fuck is she doing?_ on Carmilla’s face, but you just shrug. It’s something you get used to.

It’s almost midnight and you rest your head on Carmilla’s shoulder. You think about leaving soon when you realize Danny is standing next to your table and suddenly you’re wide awake.

“Hey, guys.” She looks from you to Perry and to LaF suspiciously while everyone greets her and when she recognizes Carmilla her lips press together tightly. “What’s going on?”

“Can I talk to you for a second?” You jump to your feet and pull her with you.

“What is _she_ doing with you?” Danny asks angrily as soon as you’re out of earshot.

“Yeah, I kind of wanted to talk to you about that before you see it. I wanted to give you a heads-up.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Tell me, that’s a joke.” She looks back at your table and when you follow suit, you see Carmilla glancing at you and you could swear she looks uneasy.

You turn back to Danny and shake your head. “No joke at all.”

“And you’re what? Dating her?” You nod and she adds “You can’t be serious.”

“I am. We’re together.”

“You’re fooling yourself. Whatever she told you, she’s just playing with you.”

“No, she’s not.” You say disgruntled. You still don’t know what exactly her problem with Carmilla is, but she’s furious now and she makes you feel like a child who doesn’t know better. You don’t like that part of her at all.

“I know you try to see the good in everyone, but that’s ridiculous, even for you.” Danny laughs in disbelief and that’s the final straw.

“Can you stop treating me like a stupid child?” You yell at her. “I don’t know why you think about Carmilla the way you do, but I happen to like her, and if you don’t trust my judgement feel free to leave me alone.”

“You want to know what happened?” She asks and it’s odd how quiet she suddenly is. “Remember Jessica? Your ‘ _girlfriend_ ’ fucked her when we were still dating. That’s why we broke up. And then she dumped her. Because that’s what she does. And do you want to know what happened when I confronted her? She laughed in my face and made fun of me. That’s who your dreamgirl really is.”

You’re momentarily stunned.

“You’re wrong. There has to be something you don’t know.” You say when you find your voice again.

“Are you seriously defending her right now? I can’t believe you.”

“Carm is not a bad person. I just know she isn’t.” You try to convince her, but you also try to convince yourself.

“Yes, she is. And if you finally realize that, don’t come complaining to me, because I told you before and I’m telling you now again.” She looks at you one last time and you see how disappointed she is. “See you around.”

~

You watch Laura walk back to your table after the ginger giant leaves. You know they weren’t exactly friendly in their conversation, you’ve seen the tension from across the room, and you’re not an idiot, you know they were talking about you.

When Laura first mentioned _Danny_ casually in a conversation you wondered how long it would take until you’ll get in trouble because of her. How long it would take until Laura would find out that her friend really hates you. You never really cared what people think about you, so every time she shot at you, you fired right back.

But now there’s someone whose opinion you care about. And you’re pretty sure the beanstalk told her everything she despises about you.

So what if Laura listens to her friend and decides that you’re not a nice person? Or what if she just simply decides that being with you is not worth losing her friend?

“Everything okay?” You ask when she sits down next to you and you can practically see her thinking.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine.” And her answer is not at all calming.

You watch her the rest of the time at the bar and you’re sure she’s mad at you. She’s totally distracted and you just want her to say out loud what’s bothering her, because then you’ll get it over with. You suggest to go home not much later and since the ginger twins claim they're tired, too, you all leave only minutes later and then you’re walking down an empty street with Laura who hasn’t said a single word since she told Perry and LaF good night.

“The ginger twins are actually not that bad.” You try to make her talk to you, but all you get is an indistinct humming and when you want to bump your hand against hers you notice she buried them both in her pockets.

“You’re awfully quiet. I’m not used to you not talking.” And right now the silence really frightens you. With every second that passes you’re more certain that she’ll just send you away once she starts talking.

She still doesn’t say anything and you just keep walking while your heart pounds in your ears until she finally breaks the silence.

“Did you really sleep with Danny’s girlfriend?”

And there it is. “So there was not everything okay after you talked to the beanstalk.”

“Can you please answer my question?”

“Yes.” You say and take a deep breath. “And she hated me ever since.”

“That’s all?”

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

“Maybe that you didn’t know, or that you regret it, just something. Or anything to explain why you would laugh at her.”

“Okay, just for the record, I didn’t know that girl was anybody’s girlfriend, not that it would have made any difference.”

“Seriously?”

“I should just go.” She can’t leave you if you leave first. You start walking away, but she calls you after a few steps.

“Carm, wait.” And you immediately stop in your tracks. “I just want to hear your side of the story.”

You turn around and look at her, disbelievingly. “That’s funny, because I feel like you already made up your mind.”

She walks up to you and she looks as insecure as you feel. “No. I’m sorry. I really want to know. I want to understand what happened between you and her. I told Danny you’re not a bad person, and I believe it.”

You didn’t expect that. But you also don’t believe her, you came to that decision a long time ago. You’re not nice. And it never bothered you until now.

“Maybe you’re wrong.”

“No, I’m not.” She replies instantly. “Come on, I promise I’ll listen.”

You walk to a little dry wall surrounding a nearby house and sit down. She follows you and looks at you expectantly.

“It was nothing out of the ordinary. I went to the bar, hit on a girl and took her home.” You cringe, because sure, that has been the ordinary for you for a while, but telling it to the person you actually want to be with sounds wrong.

“That’s how we met, remember?” She says and nudges you with her shoulder. “It’s not like I don’t know what you were up to at first.”

You relax a little and continue. “So it was just a simple one night stand, at least for me. Until that girl showed up again a few days later and told me she wanted to leave her girlfriend, who I’ve never heard of before, and then she could actually date me.  
I flat out told her, that was never going to happen and that she was better off with her girlfriend, but apparently she had already told her and the next thing I know is big red cornering me, asking what I did to that ‘poor girl’. So I got defensive and made fun of her.”

You wait a moment, but you feel the need to clarify something. “And I didn’t talk her into something and she wasn’t drunk or anything like that.”

“I would never think that.” Laura says immediately and that she doesn’t have to think twice before dismissing it means a lot to you.

“It certainly wasn’t the first time a girl had a girlfriend or a boyfriend, and I never cared. It’s not like I was cheating on someone. But I guess that doesn’t make me a very nice person.”

You wait for her to confirm, to tell you that you have no morals, to ask you how you can be so unsympathetic, but she once again surprises you. At first she doesn’t respond at all and when she does, she ignores that part completely.

“Did you ever?” And you’re so focused on your worst expectations that you have no idea what she’s talking about until she clarifies. “Cheat on someone.”

“No.” You say without hesitation. “Is that what you’re worried about?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?” You really have no poker face around her, you notice, when she instantly backtracks. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. Just, Danny’s story reminded me that you’re not exactly the relationship type. What if you get bored with me?”

“I can’t promise you, that we’ll be together forever, it’s far too soon, but I would never betray you.” You assure her and you should sometimes look past your own insecurities to notice that she struggles with the same things you do. You cover her hand with yours. “You’re the first person I wanted to be with in a long time, you and no one else.”

She looks up at you with wide eyes and asks quietly “Why me? Why am I different?”

“You just are.” You reply and you asked yourself the same question when you met her. You still don’t have a real answer to that. “There was just something about you that drew me in right from the beginning. Something that made me come back and made me want to get to know you.”

“I can live with that.” She smiles shyly at you and turns her hand and laces her fingers with yours.

“So, are we okay?” you ask carefully.

“Of course.” She exclaimes and you feel a weight lift off your chest. “I seriously just wanted to know your side of the story, but I guess you’re not the only one who gets defensive. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

You nod and you look at each other. You’re so relieved.

“Can we go home now?” She asks and you grin because of the way your heart flutters when she calls your place home so easily.

“Yes.”

You start walking again and this time your hands are entwined and it’s comforting. You wonder how you could get used to that in the short time you’ve been together that you already missed it earlier. And not just hand holding, she also likes to play with your hair or draws patterns on your skin. In fact, you always touch in some kind of way whenever you spend time together, initiated by you as much as by her.

You can’t imagine losing that. That’s why you snapped at her earlier and why you wanted to run away. You were so sure Laura was going to leave you. It’s stupid. You realize that now. She could have just let you go and you would have destroyed or at least damaged the best thing you ever had. You’re lucky she’s persistent.

You think about everything that happened some more and a grin spreads on your face. You’re good, she’s here and just walking through the night while holding her hand makes you so unbelievable happy. That’s when it hits you: You love her. You truly, fullheartedly love her, like you never thought you could.

Sure, you had a girlfriend when you started university, and you thought you loved her. When she broke up with you you felt bad for a while. Since then you had never feelings for anybody and you accepted, that love just wasn’t for you, but damn, were you wrong, because right now you feel like every cliché ever written.

You glance at her and she watches you curiously. The smile on her face equals yours. Impulsively, you pull on her hand and step in her way. She stumbles a bit when she stops to avoid crashing into you and you stare into each others eyes for a few seconds before you wrap your free hand around her waist to pull her close and capture her lips with yours.

You feel her body relax into the kiss and she sighs quietly. Perhaps you’re not the only one overthinking things. There’s a need in it that wasn’t there before and though you’re completely wrapped into each other you still want her closer.

“What was that for?” She asks when you both need air after a while and you continue looking at each other, both out of breath.

There’s nothing on your mind except for Laura and those three words, so you don’t think about it any more and just say them. “I love you.“

“You do?” You would feel self-conscious, but she looks nothing but astonished and she still beams at you, so you think you’re safe and you nod.

“I love you, too. I wanted to tell you, but I thought it was too early and I would scare you.”

Sometimes you love that she has no filter. “You could never scare me with something like that.” You say and peck her lips quickly.

“Good.” She stands on her tiptoes and tugs you into an actual kiss again. Her tongue parts your lips and her hands slip under your shirt to caress your bare stomach. Her touch sends shivers through your body, and yeah, you love that, too.

“Let’s go home. I’ll show you how much I love you.” You mumble lowly against her lips and she giggles.

“You won’t ever stop flirting with me, will you?”

“Do you want me to stop?” you ask and raise an eyebrow at her.

“No.” she grins and you chuckle.

You walk the rest of the way with your arm around her waist and you only let go of her when you both hang your jackets. You hug her again immediately after and bury your face in her neck just savoring the feeling of her body against you.

Her lips are on your throat, first just pressing against your skin, but soon she starts to kiss you there languidly. You breathe her in, completely surrounded by her scent and you nudge her with your nose right beneath her ear and you think your breath must tickle her, because she starts to wriggle but she doesn’t move away.

“I think you wanted to show me something.” She says playfully and you comply immediately. You place your hands on her waist and walk her backwards in the direction of your bedroom and since your mouth is still there you nip on her earlobe. The spot right behind her ear you discovered is really sensitive is next, and you kiss it gently. She loves it when you do that and also you can whisper in her ear whenever you want, so it’s a win win.

When you nearly bump into the door frame you detach yourself from her neck to see where you’re going . You help her out of her shirt and she does the same with yours before you reach the bed and you guide her down and straddle her thighs.

You lean down and start kissing her stomach right above the waistband of her pants and move up from there. You stay at her belly button for a while, kissing around it first and then dipping your tongue in.

You walk your fingers up over her ribs and you know she’s ticklish there and her breathing picks up when she tries not to squirm too much under your touch. You reach her bra both with your mouth and your hands and while you let your fingers slip barely under the fabric you kiss the soft flesh on top.

Slowly you undo her bra and once it’s gone you continue kissing her breasts and you feel her hands on your back and then at the nape of your neck where she both caresses you and keeps you in place.

Her nipple stiffens when you take it in your mouth and you run your tongue over it and you keep doing that until you hear her gasp above you. You suck on it a few times and then tug on it gently.

“Carm,” Laura whines and you trail your kisses further up until you reach her lips.

“You know, I could just keep kissing you all night and I would still have a great time.” You state, hovering over her face.

“Not fair.” She replies and pulls you on your hip flush against her body. You kiss her deeply again and she catches you by surprise when she rolls you over mid-kiss until you’re on your back with her on top of you. “I guess, I have to do something about that, then.”

“I never said that’s what I intend to do, just that I could.” You chuckle and she grins at you. “Have a little patience, cutie.”

But patience is clearly the last thing on her mind since she’s already opening the button of your pants. She tugs them down and your underwear follows soon after. You get rid of your bra yourself while she stands and strips down naked before straddling you again.

She kisses down your chest and she’s already on your waist when you caress her cheek to make her look up. “I thought _I_ was going to show _you_ ,”you say with a little disappointment, but only a little because really, you could never actually be disappointed when she’s about to go down on you.

She thinks for a moment and she bites her lip before she says “That can be arranged,” and turns around. You’re confused for a second, but then you find yourself with her crotch directly above your face and you get the general idea of what she wants you to do the same moment she starts kissing your hip bone again.

Not that you never experimented with different positions in bed, you sure did, but most of the time it was less about you. You got your fair share out of it, of course, but usually the women you slept with were not as eager to reciprocate as they were to come themselves, so there are still new things to explore. That’s another definite pro of sleeping with someone you care about and who cares about you. No, _someone you love and who loves you_ , you correct yourself and you smile.

Smugly you notice that your earlier actions clearly were successful since she’s already glistening and you carefully bite the skin on her inner thigh you can reach and kiss it afterwards.

You feel her tongue parting your folds so you pull her down a bit and you mirror her actions. It’s kind of overwhelming, you can either focus on her touches or you can focus on pleasing her, but you can’t do both, so you choose the latter. You tease her entrance and dip your tongue in a few times and her hips grind down into you.

You move to her clit and begin to lap on it when you feel your breathing pick up. Sure, you can steer your mind to your own actions, but your body still reacts to everything Laura does to you. She enters you with a finger and a low moan escapes your mouth when she moves it slowly. She shivers and you hum against her to continue the vibration.

She ruts more frantically and you feel yourself contract on her finger, so you suck her clit into your mouth and lap on it some more until she moans loudly and the combination of her coming and her tongue on your clit sends you over the edge, too.

She collapses onto you and you wait for your breathing to even out. You close your eyes and feel her shift and when you open them again, Laura lays next to you and you pull her in for a lazy kiss.

“I never came at the same time with someone.” You admit.

“Seriously?” she asks curiously.

You nod and smirk. “That was fucking hot. And I really want to do it again.”

You connect your lips with hers again and you think she agrees when she immediately slips her tongue in your mouth and tugs you closer. You kiss a trail to the spot behind her ear.

“There’s only one thing that can improve that. It’s if I can watch you,” you purr and suck gently on her skin. “You’re even more beautiful when you’re about to come.”

Her breath hitches and you love that you can do that with almost nothing but words.

“Smooth talker.” She says and starts to kiss you again and while you savor the feeling, her hand is on your stomach drawing light patterns.

You have one arm around her waist and you lower it a bit to grab her ass and move your other hand between her legs. She’s still more than ready, but you slide your fingers up and down until she does the same and you push into each other simultaneously.

You break the kiss to rest your forehead against hers and stare into her eyes while you both begin to thrust. You circle her clit with your thumb and you watch her close her eyes for seconds in pleasure. She opens them again and looks at you in wonder and she really is beautiful.

There’s only enough space between the two of you to move your arms, but you pull her closer with the hand on her butt and she does the same with her hand on the small of your back. Your lips land on hers again and you kiss open mouthed until your erratic breath makes it impossible to continue and you’re just panting into each other.

You know you’re almost there and you pick up your speed and curl your fingers with every thrust and you try to hold yourself back a little to watch her like you intended.

She tightens around your fingers and her head falls back and you let go when her hand jerks, possibly unintentional, but hits the right spot nonetheless and you hit climax together. Your moans mix with hers and you both keep your movement up for a little longer to prolong the sensation.

When you carefully remove your fingers you never take your eyes off Laura while sucking them into your mouth, and she chuckles before doing the same. You kiss her softly and she snuggles close to you with her head in the crook of your neck.

“I love you,” she sighs and closes her eyes.

You tighten your grip around her and do the same.

“I love you, too.”

~

You wake up in Carmilla’s arms and you smile contently. She’s still fast asleep and you want it to stay that way, so you try not to move much.

Last night was a rollercoaster of emotions. You were so happy when Carmilla got along with LaF and Perry, but when Danny showed up everything went downhill. You first actually noticed that you were too hard on Carmilla, when she tried to leave and thank god, she stayed.

Instead, she told you she loves you. The grin that appears when you think about it is possibly going to split your face in half.

Not to mention that last night was probably the most intimate you’ve ever been.

You think about it some more until you feel Carmilla stir behind you. It doesn’t take long until you feel her lips on your neck, but you know she’s not actually awake, so you lean into her and enjoy the proximity until she opens her eyes for real about half an hour later.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” You say and you bite your lip to keep you from laughing. Sleepy Carmilla is the cutest, you discovered that weeks ago, and it still doesn’t cease to amaze you. Her hair is ruffled and she always looks a little grumpy, as if the morning itself has offended her.

“Morning.” She grumbles and you decide to give her some more time to wake up and hug her around the waist to push her back into the pillows.

“I was thinking I could invite Mattie for a few days.” She says a while later and you’re momentarily stunned, both by the fact that she already talks in full sentences and by the subject. “I mean, technically you’ve met, but I want to formally introduce you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, meeting the ginger twins wasn’t that bad and I thought maybe you want to get to know the only person I tolerate besides you.” The corners of her mouth twitch.

“Are you sure?” you ask and you regret it immediately when Carmilla’s face falls, so you backtrack. “No, no, no. I’d love to. It’s just, she’s your whole family, are you sure you’re ready to introduce me to your family? You don’t have to, just because I wanted you to meet my friends.”

She softens noticeably.

“Mattie is my sister, and the only family I have, but she’s also my best friend and I want her to meet you.”

That’s the other reason you have your doubts. She might be the only person whose opinion matters to Carmilla, so what if she doesn’t like you?

“So there’s no pressure at all.” You say and you laugh tensely.

“I’m sure she’s going to love you.” Carmilla replies and hugs you tighter.

“Yeah?”

“Well, I do, and she just wants me to be happy. I think you’re safe.” She assures you and that calms you down a lot.

“Okay, then let’s meet the family.”

 

“You still haven’t told me what you did that caused you calling me in such a distress last time.” Mattie addresses Carmilla half-way through dinner. You have no idea what she’s talking about, so you watch them both curiously and Mattie smirks at you. “Obviously it wasn’t that severe.”

“I told you, I didn’t do anything.” Carmilla says and rolls her eyes.

You’re in Carmilla’s apartment and she cooked for the three of you. Or, she cooked for you, since hers and Matties steak barely touched the pan when she put them on plates and you wonder how they can eat what is basically raw meat. You made sure yours was at least medium.

So far you don’t really know what to think about Carmilla’s sister. She’s a little bit too self-confident to instantly like her and you have no doubt she’s more than capable to lead a company like Morgan Industries because she can sell anything to anyone and everyone which is a bit unsettling. But on the other hand, you can’t deny that her dry humor is kind of funny and you love the way she and Carmilla tease each other.

You noticed Carmilla is softer with you than with anyone else, and a lot nicer, but with Mattie she’s more like a child. Carefree but stubborn. And you like it a lot to see that side of her.

“Wait, when was that?” you ask and Carmilla groans, while Mattie laughs at her.

“When you ignored me.” She grumbles and you’re pretty sure she’s embarrassed. You didn’t know she felt bad about that, let alone _distressed_. You just thought she wanted to see you and came by. That she talked about you with Mattie definitely surprises you.

“Oh. It was just a simple misunderstanding.” You state. “But we cleared that up.”

“Apparently I’m not good at showing my true intentions. Who would have guessed?” Carmilla says sarcastically, but Mattie doesn’t seem to be satisfied with that answer. She raises her eyebrow and shoots her a pointed look, and just like that Carmilla adds quietly “Laura thought, I only wanted to hook up.”

You can feel her discomfort and you didn’t know that was a thing that still bothered her.

“So let me take a wild guess here,” Mattie starts and you feel yourself shrink under her gaze. “You knew her reputation and instead of forming your own opinion you just assumed that was all you needed to know.”

“Come on, Mattie, leave her alone.” Carmilla chimes in and it’s nice that she’s defending you, but Mattie’s got a point. It’s not pleasant to hear, but she does.

“No, she’s right.” You say and Carmilla looks at you surprised. “Just because you don’t think very highly of yourself and take all the blame doesn’t make it okay that I never asked what you think. And I’m really sorry about that.”

You realize you should have said that sooner. And if you knew Carmilla still thinks it was all her fault, you would have. You should have seen that before, and – oh, crap.

“And I did the same again last weekend after the Lustig. I really should just ask you if I want to know something, I’m so sorry.”

“It’ okay.” Carmilla says softly and her hand lands on your knee under the table, squeezing reassuringly. And you believe her instantly. You should both learn to communicate with each other.

You smile at her and she smiles back and you blend out anything that’s not her until Mattie clears her throat and you both turn back to her.

“I like her.” She tells Carmilla and you’re relieved.

“You like everyone who agrees with you.” Carmilla replies and chuckles.

“That’s because I’m usually right.”

“No, that’s because you force people to share your opinion.”

“What can I say, I’m convincing.”

Not for the first time you think Mattie is a little full of herself, but you can get along with her. You listen to them bickering for a while.

 

The next evening you end up at the Lustig again. This time with Mattie, LaF and Perry and you have a great time. You’re all laughing and drinking and you share stories about university since you have been attending mostly at the same time and you wonder if you ever saw Mattie or Carmilla unknowingly on campus during that time.

Mattie gets the first round of drinks and LAf decides to get the next, but when they come back and place five glasses on the table they look a bit bewildered.

“The barkeeper said, he couldn’t take any money from me tonight, so that was weird.” They say and sit down next to Perry.

“The whole evening is on me,” Mattie explains and waves off any oppositions. “Feel free to order whatever you like.”

“Anything?” LaF asks, their eyes shining in anticipation and Mattie nods. They’re still writing their dissertation and usually drink cheap beer to compensate their lack of money, you can’t blame them for wanting something different.

“Don’t overstretch her generousness.” Perry scolds them instantly, but Mattie just grins.

“I can afford it.”

Needless to say, LaF takes her up on her offer.

A little later, Carmilla is at the bar getting you and LaFontaine new drinks. You saw her talking to the barkeeper earlier and you suspect her telling him to take it easy on the alcohol for LaF’s sake, but she didn’t say anything when you asked her what she talked to him about.

You watch her standing there waiting for the drinks and remember the evening when you first met her. She’s wearing her leather pants again, and you still have trouble not to gawk at her.

But then suddenly there’s someone blocking your view and you look up to see Danny standing next to your table. You didn’t think she would talk to you after last time, but you won’t avoid this bar just because you can run into her here.

“Hey guys, I didn’t know you wanted to come here this evening.” She says and she’s addressing Perry and LaF so she’s obviously still mad at you.

“Do you want to join us?” Perry asks, clearly oblivious to the tension between you and her.

“I should go back to the others.” She says and glances at you for the first time.

At the same time Carmilla comes back from the bar and slides in next to you. She places the drinks in front of you and LaF and lays her arm around your waist.

“Great, can’t I say hi to my friends now without _you_ being there.” Danny spits and you really don’t want to deal with that right now. You just wanted to have a nice evening with your girlfriend and some friends.

“Did I steal your playmates?” Carmilla retorts the same time Mattie says “Aren’t you a hostile overgrown child.”

You don’t like Danny’s tone one bit, but you doubt the smirk on Carmilla’s face does anything to deescalate the situation.

“I can’t believe you chose her word over mine.” Danny says and this time it’s directed at you. “What did she tell you? Did I make everything up? Is she the innocent victim here? I thought you had moral standards. Don’t tell me I haven’t warned you when she eventually hurts you.”

She’s about to leave, but this time you’ve had enough. You jump to your feet and there’s still Carmilla sitting between you and Danny’s more than a foot taller than you, but you clench your fists and glare at her.

“You know, her story doesn’t sound that different than what you’ve told me and this is not me choosing to believe one thing or another. But I think you should leave Carmilla alone and start blaming your ex, because she’s the one who cheated on you. And unless you stop telling me what bad choices I make and what kind of a bad person my girlfriend is every time I see you, I don’t want you around. Because whatever you think Carm is, you’re wrong. She’s awesome and sweet and a bit of a dork and I don’t want you to keep insulting her.”

You’re fuming. You take a deep breath and wonder if you really said all of that out loud.

“I should go.” Is everything Danny says and you sit down again.

It’s then that you notice everyone on your table staring at you. Perry is just confused and so is LaF, but they always had their differences with Danny and they’re also drunk, what explains them grinning. Mattie looks at you with her eyebrows raised and a hint of a smile on her lips.

The last one you look at is Carmilla and the only word you can think of to describe the look on her face is astonishment. She keeps staring at you and there’s something so intense in it you want to avert your eyes. The second you look down though, she lifts your chin with a tap of her finger and connects your lips in the softest of kisses.

“You didn’t have to do that.” She says and continues to look at you like you just put the stars in the sky. It makes you really self conscious.

“No, I had to, she can’t just keep talking about you like that when she doesn’t even know you.”

She smiles at you and then it’s just the two of you grinning at each other again until Mattie interrupts you again.

“I take back what I said yesterday, I don’t like her, I love her.”

Carmilla doesn’t take her eyes off you. “See, I told you. But not as much as I do.”

You’re about to kiss her again when Laf pipes up. “Can you stop being disgusting for a minute and explain what just happened?” Their voice is slightly slurring.

You look at Carmilla, because you don’t want to say anything she’s not comfortable with and let her answer.

“The short version is: I slept with the ginger giant’s ex-girlfriend a while ago and she still hates me for that.”

“And you’re okay with that?” LaF asks knocking over the house of beer coasters they build earlier.

“No, you said it yourself, Carm can sleep with anybody she wants there’s no reason to blame her.” You pause and add with a sly smile “Well, could. Not any more.”

That seems to satisfy them and they go back to stacking beer coasters and Perry and Mattie talk about something when Carmilla leans really close in so you’re the only one who can hear her.

“You know, you’re wrong. I can still sleep with anybody I want…” She says and you head immediately starts to race. Sure, you’ve never actually discussed being exclusive, but that’s what the term girlfriend implies, right? Plus, you made it clear that you didn’t want to share her with anybody. But then she adds “Because you’re the only one I want. I thought you would have picked up on that by now.” And you really shouldn’t doubt her feelings anymore.

“I have, it’s just hard to believe sometimes that I get to be so lucky.” You reply quietly and she nods and pulls you a little bit closer.

“I know the feeling.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, please let me know if you liked it, I always appreciate feedback.  
> Tumblr: ghost-in-your-house. come say hi.


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